Which Way Is Up?

So I finally tried to do some work…

My counselor says I need to reward myself more and try to think about things in smaller increments.

He says try housework for 15 minutes a day and when I’ve done that, reward myself with something small like a piece of chocolate or looking at tumblr or playing with the dogs. You know, something nice.

Well, I have been really busy lately ‘cause M thinks it’s her job to take me with her every day to make sure I don’t get ‘sad’. I don’t need this every day unless I’m suicidal, but I feel awkward telling her and I also feel like it’s good for me to get out of the house. (Which it’s really not good for me since it’s gotten in the way of doing what I need to do…but it feels like a good idea when I do it.)

Anyway, today was my first opportunity to try 15 minutes. Being me, I tried for 25 minutes with tomato-timer.com. 25 minutes of one seemingly easy task, then I could have a root beer. I barely made it to fifteen before I was overwhelmed. I should listen.

Now I want to try 15 minutes again, but the deal was one 15 minute session a day. Maybe tomorrow I will try for two. I’m not supposed to make deals in my head and break them ‘cause then I won’t trust myself. So if tomorrow the deal is two fifteen minute cleanings, it’s okay.